The Back Lane Archives (97-09-21)

Lane's Column - Smart Move, Buddy!

Have you noticed how dumb some drivers are? You're driving along in the 'slow lane', and somebody decides they really have to get past you. I don't know where they're going, but it must be really important to get there a few seconds earlier. I thought the only time seconds mattered was in the movies, when you're on your way to rescue the heroine.

This happened to me the other day. I was in the 'slow lane' and some jerk in a Corvette decides that he has to pass me. He drives along the off ramp until the very end, then cuts in in front of me. Nice driving, buddy! But hey, who cares how many people are mad at him, he's gained a few seconds, and by doing that all the way home, surely he'll get there a few seconds earlier!

Rhodes keeps trying to tell me that the best way to drive is to pick one lane, and stay in it until you're ready to get off the highway. I thought this would be a great chance to try it out. If Rhodes was right, then I could stay in this lane, and the jerk in the Corvette wouldn't get very far ahead.

The Corvette changed lanes as soon as we slowed down. He took off in the next lane, and I lost sight of him. So much for Rhodes' ideas! Then a strange thing happened. When I was about ready to get off the highway (which was about ten minutes later), I came up behind a car which looked familiar. It was a Corvette, and a quick check of the license showed it was the same Corvette. All his lane changing and fast driving had gained him no car lengths at all!

I pulled onto the off ramp right behind him, and watched as he again took off. Some people never learn! Oh well, I guess I can stop feeling jealous. He may have the more expensive car, but it doesn't help him get home any faster! And now I can laugh at him, because he's not just a jerk, he's a dumb jerk!

There! I feel better!

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