The Back Lane Archives (99-05-26)

Lane's Column - What Gives You The Right?

Ever noticed how people drive when there's a traffic jam? Notice how everybody becomes polite, and yields to let other drivers in, and generally do what they can to improve the flow of traffic? No? That's because there are a lot of jerks out there who think that the best thing to do during a traffic jam is get right in there and make it as bad as possible!

I really don't understand what possesses these people! They seem to somehow think that by driving on the shoulder, somebody gains! It certainly isn't the other drivers. They have to wait while Joe Moron zips past and struggles to cut in! And what does he have to do to cut in? That's right, he has to completely stop his vehicle! In other words, just because he thinks he can gain a few seconds (I've seen guys do this to get past one car!), he feels he has the right to stop EVERYBODY in the lane!

So, it must be because he thinks that he will be further ahead! Well, maybe he will actually get to that merge point ahead of a few cars, but how much does that actually save. Once the cars are moving again, he's gained maybe a dozen car lengths! Wow! That's get him home maybe even a half minute faster than he would have. Of course, if he was smart enough to keep the traffic flowing, he might have gotten his minute back anyway, and without getting everybody else mad!

And what about those of us who are in the right hand lane because, wonder of wonders, we actually want to use it to get off the road. Yes, that's right, Mr Moron thinks that we deserve his traffic jam, so even though we're only going a few hundred yards, we still have to wait while he stops and looks for a way to break into the traffic! How considerate! He doesn't want us to miss the traffic jam just because we're leaving the highway!

Why does he do it? Does he get a kick out of getting everyone mad at him? Is he so stupid that he can't see that he's just making things worse for everyone, and not gaining himself anything except a reputation as a jerk? Maybe he suffers from such an inferiority complex that he's convinced that his actions can't affect the traffic, so whatever stupid things he does won't hurt anybody else? Or he thinks that the law is only for other folks; he's been granted some dispensation to ignore legality and courteousy, and drive however he wants!

Come on jerks! I don't need to be reminded that you're too stupid to drive well! Learn how to drive! Learn about common courtesy! Think about the effect you're having on others! If you can't drive with everyone else, then just get off the road! And stay there!

There! I feel better!

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