The Back Lane Archives (97-08-24)

Lane's Column - Morons! Open Your Eyes!

So you think you're a really good driver?! You think that you're good enough that you can drive at 20 over the limit when there's heavy traffic?! I've got news for you -- a brick wall won't move over just for you, and neither will a Mack truck!

Case in point. I was driving across Toronto today. As always, there was a lot of traffic. As always, traffic slowed as we rounded the corner westbound, just west of Yonge street. As always, I had to slow down because there was a sea of brake lights ahead.

Bored? Well, here's where it gets stupid! As I'm braking to avoid rear-ending the guy in front of me, some jerk with his brains in his feet comes speeding up behind, crosses into the fast lane (cutting off one guy), then cuts across right behind me into the other lane. I tell you, there was not enough space for that kind of lunacy, and I'm not real thrilled about nearly getting rear-ended by someone with so little brains they can't even notice a couple of thousand cars with their brake lights on!

Hey, jerk! Next time you try speeding through traffic, try opening your eyes! Here's a clue -- when everybody else is braking, maybe the traffic ahead is SLOW!

Of course, that's not what makes this story really wonderful. You think, well, one jerk a day, what do you expect? It's Toronto after all. But no sooner had this guy gone through than another guy, in a black car which he probably thinks is sporty, tries to slip in in front of me, suddenly notices that traffic isn't moving, does an emergency lane change back into the outer lane, and almost hits somebody there.

Where do these guys get their licenses? Don't they have to pass an eye exam? Do they think just because they wasted a bunch of money on a fancy car, suddenly they can't get hurt? My advice for you two guys is to go find an empty road where you can drive into each other. If you're so determined to have an accident, go have it somewhere else, and let me use the road the way it was meant to be used.

Good driving!? Maybe being able to drive fast makes you a good driver, but if you are too short-sighted to see that the truck ahead is slowing down, then you're not a good driver, you're just a jerk.

There! I feel better!

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