The Back Lane Archives (98-01-11)

Lane's Column - Ever Heard of Indicators?

Have you looked at all the extra gadgets they put into cars these days? They put a lot of useless stuff in just so they can show you that their car has more stuff than the competing brand. I've noticed recently that a lot of people seem to think that indicators are one of those "useless extra gadgets".

After all, they must reason, when I pull over in front of you, you're more likely to notice my HUGE car moving over than those TINY flashing lights. That's right, buddy! I'm psychic! I can tell what you're thinking! Actually, in your case, it's pretty easy!

And what about those idiots who think the pretty flashing light actually helps the car to turn? I can't figure out any other reason why they'd wait until they've already started changing lanes to flick the indicator. What are they thinking. "I want over into that lane. Let's see, turn the steering wheel. No, we're not getting there fast enough. Maybe the car doesn't realize what I want. Let's tell the car to get over there faster."

Yeah, right! Like the car is smart enough to understand the indicators. Face it, buddy, if you can't figure it out, then your car probably can't either. Or did you think that there's some trick with the lights pulling your car over in that direction? I guess you figure if a moth is drawn to a flickering flame, then a car must be drawn towards a blinking light.

Then there's the guys who use their indicators, but never turn them off. Hey, guys, Christmas is over! Time to stop with the Christmas lights! Are these guys deaf, or what?

Come on guys! Learn to use your indicators! If you want me to know what you're doing, and maybe even give you the space to do it, use your indicators! It's not really that difficult. Here, I'll give you a clue. Indicators INDICATE what you want to do! Was that so hard? Now, go read your car's manual and find out how to work them!

There! I feel better!

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